Monday, February 27, 2012

Are We There Yet?


Imagine you are in a class of kids, and one of your classmates was ignored for her/his contributions to the class. Worse than that, the student was mistreated, abused, and eventually lost his/her life due to the mistreatment. The school then decided to make a day during the year where everyone would stop to remember not only the victim and her/his accomplishments, but the circumstances surrounding the bullying and abuse so that we would learn to not repeat it and how to recognize it if we saw it happening somewhere else.

The first few years of the observance, people seemed reverant and really appreciated the significance of the memorial. However, time passed by. Minor bullying incidents may have occurred, but nothing like what we witnessed happening to that old student. We felt we had made progress as a class, and then one day someone says it, "Why do we need that student's memorial day? Haven't we progressed as a class? Aren't we older and wiser? No disrespect, but doesn't this day separate us more than unite us?" This is a metaphor for how people feel about Black History Month.

I was recently asked, "Do you think we still need Black History Month?" That's a trick question of course. So I will give you a trick answer. No we shouldn't need it, but Yes we do.

First let's deal with the "No we shouldn't need it."

Let's not forget these facts: Black History WEEK began in 1926 and the founder's intention was for it to END when Black History became a represented part of American History. Like most good ideas, it had good intentions and caused excitement among its supporters. The week in February was chosen because of the coinciding birthdays of Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass. 50 years later, America celebrated its bicentennial and President Ford approved making it officially an entire month. Britain and Canada began to recognize the month as well and here we are today, 86 years later, still "celebrating" . . .


Celebrating.


Are you celebrating?


No?


So what went wrong?


Isn't 86 years enough time for us to get our acts together and infuse textbooks with the appropriate facts and bios of prominent African-Americans? Isn't 86 years enough time for schools from Kindergarten to University to effectively educate 4 generations of students about the history of Blacks in America and the holocaust of slavery in our country? The answer is YES! And no, we shouldn't in truth NEED this holiday . . .


BBBBBUUUUUTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!


If the founder Carter Woodson meant for the holiday to be eliminated after the error had been corrected, why IS it still a separate celebration from the rest of American history? Why DID they make it a month? Well, think about it. In 1976, Black History MONTH remained separate from education because up until only a few years earlier, Blacks themselves were kept separate from society. After multiple assasinations (Medgar Evars, MLK, Malcolm X, JFK, RFK), the wounds of racial division were (and for some - are) still fresh. Commemorating this attention to the obvious lack of reverence for Blacks being regarded as a part of society seemed like a golden opportunity to heal those wounds. And though in these last 36 years, there has been more integration, there are racial/socio-economic issues that divide this country. And just like a lot of things America does when it comes to race - we got sloppy.

Now let's deal with the "Yes we need it".

Let's not forget these facts: The average student - black, white, or purple - doesn't know more than one historical Black figure - MLK - and that's largely due to the Federal recognition of his birthday. The media, both mainstream and non, often portrays African Americans in such a negative light that they continue to be the bottom of the social totem pole. Even Black-owned entertainment (i.e. BET) is nothing more than a hot mess of garbage - music videos, televangelists, reality shows, etc. - so depressing, most Black family and friends I know can't bear to watch. If you want to study Black History, you could take a class at some universities as a specialized course, but unfortunately by that time, your key, impressionable education years have passed. African-American Studies programs in universities are small and continue to only serve a small percentage of students.

The truth is - we failed. Carter Woodson, President Ford, and everyone else before us told us to TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS OPPORTUNITY TO TEACH AND LEARN, and we did not. We said, "Hey - they've got a whole month now and a half-black president. What more could they ask for? Haven't we progressed as a society? Doesn't this month separate us more than unite us?" Watch this video and receive a partial answer to that question.



I could write 3 blogs about what's wrong with this video, but it's obvious.

In the meantime, I need to keep fighting the good fight. Spread the word in every medium available to me. Teach my daughter who Charles Drew, Benjamin Banneker, Crispus Attucks, Mary Mcleod Bethune, Marcus Garvey, Ben Carson, Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, George Washington Carver, Malcom Little, Thurgood Marshall, Paul Robeson, Marian Anderson, and Langston Hughes are. But my daughter is only one child. Are other families to blame for the gap in education? How can they teach their kids what they themselves don't even know? No, this looks like a job for higher learning.

As this Black History Month comes to an end, we are faced with the familiar question: Should we do away with the recognition of Black History Month?

Sure. As soon as schools and educators get their act together for the rest of the children and give us a reason to. Let's not take another 86 years.

Please.

- Funkyman

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

FriendZone Emancipation


Hello Funklovers,

Today is Valentine's Day, and everyone is talking about whether or not it's a good thing. There are two popular schools of thought:

- It's an overdone, commercial day, and recognizing it is actually an insult to your loved one.

- It's an overdone, commercial day, and I don't care - you better get me something.

However, for those of you out there who celebrate the day with your "boo" and enjoy having this special time to show affection - that's awesome. This blog is not for you. No, this one is for those of you who have suffered or are suffering from spending time in the FriendZone - the situation when you want to take your relationship to the romantic level, but she/he doesn't reciprocate that feeling.

Let's go back in time . . .


2011

2004

1995

1983


Welcome to 1983! Some of you may not have been born yet. But others of you, remember that new Michael Jackson album "Thriller"? I LOVE "Billie Jean" and did you see him do the Moonwalk? Awesome. Hey remember the dance last week and the DJ snuck in Prince's "International Lover"? The teachers were like "Who is this singing?" LOL. Hey, is Mr. Roboto really a robot or is it just Dennis DeYoung disguised as one? Both? Whatever. Can't wait to get home and play Super Breakout on my Atari 5200. Dude, you can PAUSE the game! It's crazy! And if I finish my homework early and watch Dukes of Hazzard, my parents are taking the block off of cable and letting us watch HBO too. No, not Eddie Murphy's Delirious - some documentary, but I'm going to try to and set the BetaMax to tape it when they go to sleep!

Hey, what are the girls talking about over there?

Girl 1: "We were just talking about marriage."

Guy 1: "Yeah, what about it."

Girl 2: "If we had to marry someone in this class, who we would marry."

Funkyboy: "And? . . ."

Girl 1: "Well if I had to date someone - Marcus. If I had to marry someone - David."

Girl 2: "Yeah, dating - Marcus. Marriage - David."

Girl 3: "I would marry David."

Girl 4: "I would date Marcus, marry David."

Girl 5: "If I HAD to marry someone in this class, then David."

ALL GIRLS: "But we don't want to date you now."


1983

1995

2004

2012


. . . AND we're back. OK, that was frightening in its reality wasn't it? I took you back to there to show you the day I learned not just what those girls thought about me, but how they thought about guys in general. Why was I the guy they would marry? Because I was not the "bad" boy. Because I did well in school. Because I was the . . . FRIEND. You see, girls are smart - they know who would be good for them - but they also know they want more. They want excitement, and I . . . was . . . not . . . exciting.

:-(

Yeah, I played piano. Yeah, I collected comic books and talked about Dungeons & Dragons. Yeah, I was 7th Grade Class President (traitors!). Yeah, I did well in school. Yeah, I went to church. Your basic nerd.

And yes, I had VERY little experience dating girls. But how was I going to get experience if they all had their minds made up that after they were done dating every guy on earth, they would "settle" down with me? Without going back in time, here are some highlight quotes from girls I had feelings for in my life:

1984 - "David, I think we should just stay friends."

1988 - "I'm not interested. We can go out as friends."

1990 - "I don't like you like that. You're such a good friend to me."

1992 - "We'll see what happens. I just don't want to mess up our friendship. "


You see, I had a bizarre theory as a young man that if I was friends with a girl first, love might blossom. But to no avail, I never had a short or long-term romantic relationship with anyone. Always in the FriendZone, I began to realize the silver lining of my status:

- I was single - I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without thinking of someone else.
- I had no STD's.
- I got to know how women think and feel in a way most men never get to.
- Maybe I was being saved for someone special?

Even though being in the FriendZone actually had its benefits, nevertheless one day

I QUIT!

I gave up on believing that I would ever be anything more than a friend to a girl. I was tired of getting my heart broken, and I'm such an emotional creature that I couldn't bear it anymore.

And then . . . Fadie.

I'll end this story simply by saying that just when I gave up on finding someone special or having a romantic relationship with someone who was also a friend, both happened without my trying.

And though I tried to increase her interest in me by cracking jokes, playing piano, or singing songs - none of it phased her. She looked beyond my reaching out and saw something within, prayed to God that I could be the one He made for her, and He answered her prayer.

That's right, Fadie - I love you. God made us fall in love. On March 3, 1994 I asked you to be my girlfriend - tempting all of fate one more time to have my heart broken.

18 years later, we're still here doing what we vowed to do - growing "older" together.

Liberating me from the FriendZone is the very least of what you've done for me. You are my best friend, and we're in love. It's the answer to my prayers too. Happy Us Day. I will forever be your David, but to the rest of the world, I will continue to be

- Funkyman

"More Than A Song" - one of the many dedications to my wife, Fadie Thomas Coleman from that sappy, nerdy man she blessed by saying "I Do".