The Official Site for David Freeman Coleman

The Official Site for David Freeman Coleman
a.k.a. Funkyman

Did He Ever Talk About . . . ?

Friday, January 15, 2010

10 Questions

CBS News reports:

On his Christian Broadcasting Network show yesterday, Rev. Pat Robertson said that the nation of Haiti has been devastated by a large earthquake because its people "made a pact with the devil."

"Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it," Robertson said. "They were under the heel of the French ... and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, 'We will serve you if you'll get us free from the French.'"

"True story," he continued. "And the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.' Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.

This account begs several questions, but here are the first 10 -

Question #1 - WTF?

Question #2 - "And the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.'"
How does Pat know the details of the bargain unless he was there? Hmmm . . .

Question #3 - "Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another."
OK. So America's plentiful history of curses are rooted in our resounding collective faith in God? Genocide, Slavery, Racism, the Economy, Healthcare, you being on TV?

Question #4 - Pat, you waited a whole 18 hours before making this statement.
Couldn't you have waited at least 24? I mean, come on let's give them 6 more hours to recover.

Question #5 - WTF?

Question #6 - Does the "700 Club" mean you have to be an idiot 700 times to be a member? I think Pat needs a 7000 Club for idiot over-achievers.

Question #7 - Ever wonder why people completely disregard Christianity?

Question #8 - Ever wonder why people completely disregard the Devil?

Question #9 - Ever wonder that even the Devil right now is saying WTF?

Question #10 - Why don't you shut up, fly to Haiti in your private jet, and start saving those souls that you preach are in such need of salvation instead of sitting in your TV studio with your suit on preaching to a bunch of people who are either completely nuts for believing you or are looking back at their TV screen saying WTF?

I completely realize and admit that the above questions and statements are not how Jesus taught us to respond. Please forgive my brief moment of carnality (OK, last time . . . WTF???!!! . . . I'm done) and we now return you to your regularly scheduled, spiritually-centered Funkyman.

Ladies and gentlemen of the God-loving, sane world - we know that this week's catastrophe is indeed not the will of God. This is not the Old Testament, and God is no longer in the destroying-the-world business. Even if you believe God allowed it to happen, it does not fall under the category of the "will of God."

Quick sermon - It is God's will that we have fellowship with Him, and with that relationship established, help bring about the change in the world we so obviously need and are so quick to criticize.

You want to see the world dig itself out of this mess? Shut your mouth and pick up a shovel. It's your world too.

Moron. (oops, carnality again)

- Funkyman

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